House of Death

Since I am working in the *House of Death**

Mercifully called *Home for the Aged*

I am trying to figure out*

What their life is really all about

Especially when you get told*

That you are way too old

To be taking care of by your families*

And that it truly would be a release

To push you off on someone-else*

Who bothers with your pain and needs

Who changes daily your messed up sheets*

Who gives you the medication when due

Who helps you through*

The lonely hours

Which creep up on you so very often*

Someone who washes and dresses this person

Weak and down with fatigue *

Once number one in the bowling league*

It seems like centuries ago

Now a vegetable*

Waiting for death

Waiting for life*

Wishes and dreams in every size

Most of the unfullfilled*

Like a cup of tea

Which had been spilled*

Dissappearing into nowhere

Just leaving an old ugly spot behind*

Which is fairly easy to erase

And to get out of your mind*

For some -

But I don't want to put injustice on the innocent*

Of daughters and sons

Brothers and sisters*

Which had no choice to do so

To let their loved one goe*

Into a House of Care

A replacement of their lovely home*

Filled with memories -now slightly gone-

Like a veil lowering down on their past*

What meant to much one time in their lifes

When they were young and strong*

When they did belong

To the outside world *

Now shut away*

With nothing to hope for

Except an occassional visit by a relative or friend*

Sometimes a small gift sent

From somebody who sends their love*

Activity, church service and exercise

Handcrafting small items*

A birthday party once a month

Playing bridge and bingo nights*

Annually a trip to a Department Store

That's just about all*

What they got to look forward for

Oh yes, there are some exceptions*

Not too many though I have realized

I kept my ears open*

And my eyes looked way behind

The make-believe world of the Aged*

It was said once "The good die young"

Well, I got to dissapprove*

Still many are on the move

With a right and clear mind*

Maybe crippled one way or another

But holding on with a strong will*

I see smiles, a gentle touch

As such*

Trying to reach out to you and me

Trying to make you see*

That they are still alive

And able to communicate *

Though this *station* happens to be their fate*

Doesn't mean they have to be doomed

Some need plenty of loving*

One lady I know

She has so much to give*

Without waiting in return to receive

She is full of love*

from head to toe

With a bright mind*

And ever so kind

To anyone *

Sometimes when I walk through the long halls*

I can't help smiling

It is a mixture between funny and sad though*

It might comes as a blow

To you all - What enters my head -*

I don't know if it's really bad

What I am thinking*

But when "feeding time" rolls around

Faithfully all seats are occupied down the line*

One sits besides the other

Reminding me of a row of birds*

Or like sheep herds

Ready for the break of their monotonous routine*

Day by Day, Night by Night

Isn't a Nursing Home a pretty sight? *

What will be left of our pride*

When we get old?

I know it is a necessity*

We need homes like this

For whatever will exist*

Of our broken down bodies later on

I also have seen other patients*

Residents they are called here

Because this is their last station*

Where many are waiting in frustration

To get the call from "above" *

I have seen bodies lifeless hanging in wheel chairs*

Only held together by a belt

And I have felt*

The sorrow arising in me

Does it really have to be*

To keep on going like this?

I have heard their crying and plea*

Their questioning "Can't you see

That I have lost my power for living*

That I did quit giving

A long long time ago"? *

Depressed faces, mumbled words*

Sensless gestures, ripped of shirts,

Anger and fight*

Not being able to see the light

What is the purpose to make them hang on*

When there is nothing left

Within their hearts*

Except for the wish to die decently

Just a few days ago*

-And this happening made me feel low-

An old confused woman gripped my arm*

And said "I mean you no harm

You just gotta listen to me*

It's a simple request

I am ready to die*

I want to lay down, to rest

And never get up"*

Helplessy I looked at her

Not able to give her the answer*

She was waiting for

A wondering came into my mind*

If anyone could find

The right answer to the wrong question *

Our society is so proud about it's accomplishments*

In science, economy and health

Especially in the last mentioned area*

But keep on looking inside yourself

Are you really proud*

Of seeing a human look like an empty shell

Connected to tubes and machines*

Robbed of dreams

Of a not-prolonged death*

Or should I better say living?

I do believe in mercy-killing*

And yet I don't

Caused by one of the ten commandments*

*Thou shall not kill*

But I really see no sense*

By taking the right of these people away

The right to say*

"Throw away the drugs and medication

I don't have the smallest hesitation*

To lay my weary body down

And reaching out to whatever I believe*

And to die in dignity and peace

Without artificial prolongation*

Just let me sleep

And pray to God my soul to keep" *

Personally I do believe in drugs for pain*

Maybe because I am a coward by myself

But I have no shame*

To speak out loud

What others might keep to themselves*

You have got your time -

Let me choose mine *

Yet I shall not be blind*

And not forget the help and nurses

Which have to be gentle*

Yet made out of steel

And be very understanding*

With whom they will deal

Each one is an individual*

Requiring special care

And sometimes it is hard to be fair*

It's only human to be partial

And attached to one more than the other*

But sometimes they forget

That each one is your brother*

Or sister - whatever -

You bring your moods from home to work*

And your patience is sometimes very much on trial

But to be able to help*

Is a miracle by itself

Which I could not handle*

So you have my admiration

For your dedication*

Your sincerity and honesty

To do the job you are assigned to*