I am quite confused*
About emotions and feelings in my heart
Strongly moving towards something*
What seems to be part
Of my life *
Still so young*
And despite my womanhood
So innocent and trustful*
Searching and reaching out
Overlooking facts*
Ignoring my past experiences
Intelligence cannot conquer
My wishful thinking*
My mind means nothing
It is my soul which reveals loudly*
The pain of wanting to be loved
And loving back*
What's worthwhile
Without constant pressure*
Truly coming to the point
Where I have to decide*
Whether it is right
To become involved*
In a special situation
Which had no beginning yet*
No particular directions set
Hanging in the air*
Nowhere
Yet a possibility*
Of anything happening at this moment
What can I do
To see my way through*
To find the answer to my questioning
To start a beginning*
Regardless of all the warnings
To get hurt or hurt someone-else*
Because this is not what I want
Happiness and honest fulfillment*
Can it be done
Without being taken advantage of? *
Lately I am being pushed by others*
Not strong enough to put my foot down
Accepting anything -though with a frown-*
I got off the road I had been walking on
Too many sidetracks -Too many problems-*
I appreciate the fact of people loving me
Yet with a demand I can't figure out*
How it came all about
All of a sudden to be jailed*
And a question arises in me
Where have I failed? *
I realize two men caring about me*
The struggle of wanting me to be
What? -I really don't know-*
Friends and Lovers can be very close
Walking on a thin line*
A relationship so divine
But my inside has fired back*
Not because of revolutionary ideas
Or a way out of confusion*
I guess I am just not ready yet to settle down
The wings of a bird are expanding
Like Jonathan Seagull's story I have read*
And my wings are growing and growing
Don't people say it takes a master*
To tame a free bird?
Where have I heard*
Of being free and tame at the same time?
Of the sparkling sunshine
And soothing moonlight upon me*
The stars glittering in my eyes
A man's hand touching my face*
It can be done, I know
Just have to take it slow*
But without music I am nothing
Who is able to hear the sound*
The rhythm, vibrations and pulse,
The beat and melody*
Is anyone able to see
That this is life*
At least to me?
Something is blocking my mind
I am not too blind*
To recognize the feeling within myself
It's sort of pushing away the original thought I had*
When I started to write all this down
It is so hard to explain what I feel*
Yet it is so incredibly real
That I am reaching out for another person*
Despite the difference of our age
Which doesn't mean nothing anymore in our times *
But if he brings me happiness*
Please wish me the best
Though I am frightened like a child*
A gentle hand can wipe away my fears
An understanding heart dry away my tears*
Maybe he is able to help me
And in return I will be*
Myself again
And ready to give him my best*
In a meaningful relationship
You just have to invest*
To make things work out
Dreams can become reality*
If you are not too blind to see,
Right? *