Back to Brigitte's Poems

Homesick


By Brigitte Gastel written December 3, 2025 in Belleville, Illinois
Well, I am homesick*
        Why shouldn't I admit
That my love for my country*
        Never never did quit
West-Germany, United States*
        What a strange combination
Yet seven years ago*
        I felt no hesitation
To cross the Atlantic Ocean*
        Which brought me to the man I loved

        I came as a dreamer
As so many other GI brides*
        I have to admit
That I did not fit*
        For a few years to come
At least at the beginning*
        And as the years went on
I got to understand*
        That it makes no difference in which land
You are spending your lifetime*
        As long as you love -

        But when the feeling is gone
You are all alone*
        And then it strikes you
Was it really worth it*
        To leave behind
Your family, your country, your own kind*
        of people?

        Allright, so I have my regrets
Especially when holidays are rolling around,*
        Like birthdays, motherdays and in particular Christmas
I have to confess*
        That any airplane never looked better to me
then the ones which heads overseas*
        East - that is -
I am not alone with these feelings - I know*
        It just happened though
That I am a very sensitive person*
        A dreamer - my head always in the clouds -
Imagining how it could have been*
        If my eyes had seen
What mother fortune was holding in her basket for me *

But my life was planned already and it still is*
        Why make a big issue out of this?
There are millions of other immigrants*
        Spreaded all over from the foreign lands
With emotions like mine*
        But many do handle
the situation just fine *

It's me - a woman on the wrong train -*
        Once she had lost what was so precious to her
She did not become very fair*
        With herself and others
Let me tell you - and it bothers*
        Her fragile mind
Because she wants to find*
        So desperately freedom of herself,
Peace and Love From God above*
        And acceptance from others

        Maybe I have to wait a little longer
And try more to give then to receive*
        Perhaps someone will come along
who gives me the desire back to "live"*
        in every meaning of its word
And to "love" more then I ever did*
        To wipe away the darkness in my eyes
And sadness in my heart*
        To make me forget the past behind
A gentle person, loving, understanding and kind*
        That is the man I would like to find