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About Loss and Love


By Brigitte Gastel written on October 1, 2025 in Belleville, Illinois
God is calling his children home*
        Breaking up families - standing alone
And cannot cope with the situation*
        Because they don't understand
The reason why*
        The Lord let life pass by
On their little one*
        They loved so much
And cared and touched*
        For her life what's left
She was only 5 years of age*
        And had to die so suddenly
Without any warnings*
        But no tears will bring her back
They said she had a tumor in her brain*
        And it was the best for her to die
How would we know the truth*
        Or if it was comfort or a lie?
I guess you have to accept Gods way*
        All you really can do is pray
For strength to carry the heavy burden*
        Maybe in time it will go away
Itsn't it what they always say?*
        Who? - People -
They seem to know so much*
        But all it is a question of faith

        Now this maybe sounds crazy to you
To mention it too*
        In this connection
But I lost my puppy Timothy*
        Just a few days ago
He ran off towards a highway*
        And got hit by a car
He wasn't very far*
        From my home
When I finally found him*
        Laying silently and already stiff
I kneeled down by his side*
        I was hurt and wanted to weep so bad
I was sad*
        Yet no tears were flowing from my eye
I just couldn't cry*
        I guess something was holding me back

        I loved him
My big strong bumm Tim*
        To me he was just like a human being
When he looked at me with his big brown eyes*
        Sometimes in disguise
Trying to fool me*
        When I talked he listened
When I was angry he looked so guilty*
        And sometimes I couldn't help laughing
When I was sad*
        He put his head on my lap
Putting his cold nose on my cheek*
        And licking my face
To let me know that he could feel*
        When something was bothering me
And he wanted to be*
        Part of it all
I lost him for good *

Death seems all of a sudden surrounding me*
        Wherever I look
Wherever I turn*
        Life is blown out like candle lights
At nights*
        Some people are trying to fight
And some give up graciously*
        But I am left with fright
Nobody can imagine how*
        It is impossible to express
How it is eating my inside up*
        When oh when is it going to stop
The fear I have*
        The horror I feel
My mind is racing*
        My thoughts are chasing
My brain never quits thinking*
        It keeps on and on and on
I wished this anguish would be gone*
        Forever - I desire peace
And most of all release*
        From the way I am feeling

        It might sound like a movie
What I got to say*
        But I want to live
I want to give*
        My love to a man
And get in return*
        His love for me
How happy I would be*
        With him together
Oh Lord - how I would love him*
        And it just couldn't be a sin
If we had such feelings for each other*
        Without the legal vows
Lately things seem to point in one direction*
        To look, to search for satisfaction
Which I am longing for so much*
        I need a loving man's tender touch
I crave to be his only woman*
        He really cares about
I'm gonna scream and gonna shout*
        Nothing can hold me back now anymore
What is life about*
        Without love?

        To hell with the material things
Though I do believe in necessity*
        The most important thing to me
Is love - touch - tenderness*
        Communication and understanding
Feeling each others dreams*
        Holding and comfort one another
In good and bad moments*
        Sharing our thoughts and feelings
Respecting each others privacy*
        Though we are sometimes lousy human beings
I beg for forgiveness*
        But it doesn't make my wishing less
Legal or illegal *

I am a one man's woman - you know*
        And it brought me lots of pain
Yet I want to try it again*
        To lean my head on his shoulders
To feel his hands on my face*
        My shoulders - my breast
I want to be caressed*
        Only by him
Feeling every inch of his body*
        Pressed against mine
His legs wrapped around me*
        His arms protective around my waist
With no haste*
        Just beauty and silence
My head hiding underneath his arms*
        Breathing in his warmth
My fingers counting his ribs*
        My body responding to his
Wherever he wants me *

I don't need my eyes open to see*
        How thanksful I would be
Because I can feel*
        That this sensation can be real
If he wants me too*
        No time to be blue
Singing a happy song*
        Finally to know where I belong
In his heart*
        The world is full of colors
In all shades and sizes*
        Variety is the spice of life
That is an old saying*
        The only spice I need though is you
Please believe me it is true *

Whoever reads this*
        Please don't think I am crazy
I just have an urge to let out my emotions*
        Maybe it would be better to keep quiet
But how would you be able to see the light*
        Which comes from my eyes
And reflects my soul*
        This is a cry from a lonely young woman
Who really should know better by now*
        But yet doesn't know how
To act carefully with her emotions*
        Because they are beyond my control
Because it is coming from my soul *

Please my special guy*
        Don't just walk past by
Let's try to start a life together*
        It doesn't have to mean forever
If you are afraid of commitments*
        *Forever* - nothing is going to last
One time there will be an end*
        To your past and future
In a way I wished though it would be always like this*
        Forever - if we love each other deeply enough -
I feel so foolish to let you know*
        And I hope you don't laugh at me
But I want my life to be*
        Exactly like this

        A penny for your thoughts?